The Adolescent Rebel, a lifelong quest

Recently, I listened to a father tell me how disappointed he was in his teenage daughter, who until one year ago was an all “A” student, loved piano, and was very active in family and church activities. Suddenly, she was spending most of her time locked up in her room and staying up late at night engaged in social media. Her grades had dropped and now was failing most of her classes. She had gone from being a “sweet girl” to being defiant, belligerent, and rebellious. During one of the confrontations, father had slapped her, this led to being reported to child protective services. After taking her to their pediatrician, they were shocked to hear that she had scored high on a depression rating scale and that she had been cutting herself. This vignette is a composite of the stories that I frequently encounter in my practice as a child and adolescent psychiatrist.

Life begins with a total dependence on our parents. During infancy a strong bond with them is essential for survival. Initial attempts at decoupling from the parents can lead to some distress and separation anxiety in the young child. Once the infant develops object constancy (I know you are there, even when I can’t see you) they become satisfied in their dependent world. The object of their desire and idealization, is fulfilled by their parents.

During adolescence a sudden change occurs, there is a rupture in the child’s paradigm. The adolescent frequently transfers their attention to another person or thing that now becomes their idealized object(need). Occasionally this change can bring headaches, disappointment, or guilt, but will also be necessary for self-individuation and growth.

We will take a brief look at two developmental theories, a psychoanalytic and a brain maturation perspective. These might provide some background and understanding of how children move from a fusion state and idealization of their parents to rebelling against them, along with its impact on their development and family relationships.

The psychoanalytical perspective has been around for more than 100 years, starting with Freud and some his followers including, Melanie Klein and more recently Julia Kristeva. Basically, they state that children develop an exclusive idealization of their parents and by adolescence this idealization is replaced by an alternative option which can range from a romantic, friendship, ideological, religious, or other.  Suddenly this new idealized relationship can become the most meaningful thing in their life.

Eventually, the adolescent discovers that this alternative endeavor might not be the “paradise” they had thought it would be. This can at times lead to disillusion and disappointment. Some have referred to this experience as the “adolescent malady”. These feelings of discontent are experienced frequently as “boredom”. On occasions this can lead to acting-out, addictions, eating disorders, self-mutilation, and fanaticism. Many will unconsciously substitute (sublimate) these longings for academic, creative, hobbies, sports, or other endeavors.

The brain maturational perspective establishes that we are born with a surplus of brain cells. These form many connections and pathways that are necessary during this crucial period of learning and growth predominately in our early life. During adolescence most of these pathways are “pruned” to allow room for the development of new skills. This period of adolescence extends from about 12 years of age into their late twenties. During this time the brain tends to have more malleability (plasticity) needed for new skills, demands, and flexibility to explore different alternatives.

The brain undergoes significant changes and upgrades during this period, particularly in the limbic system that regulates our emotions, and the prefrontal cortex that provides the executive functions such as judgement, insight, and strategic decision making. During this process of brain maturation, the child develops additional cognitive skills, including moving from a primarily concrete form of thinking during childhood to a more analytical during adolescence (Piaget). This newfound skill allows youth to question their beliefs and narratives passed down from their families and experiment with new alternatives.

These theories can assist us in understanding the “adolescent rebel” concept, where someone appears to be going against the grain and fighting against the norms, established by their parent or society. Sometimes this period of “revolt” is marked by tormented fights with authority figures. This can lead to intense frustration, rage, anxiety, guilt, and depression.

During my clinical work as a child and adolescent psychiatrist, I frequently observe how these intense feelings between teenagers and their parents become overwhelming and trigger intense reactions. This often leads to circular arguments that just frustrate everyone.  Helping adolescents, families and others understand and disentangle these complex changes that can lead to significant stress is paramount.  These experiences are frequently part of the transition from childhood to adulthood and can be a rite of passage. They will likely be temporary, but sometimes can have a lasting impact.

Finding alternative ways to deal with this period of “adolescent revolt” will ensure that it is less stressful for everyone. It is also important to avoid quashing this rebellious drive, since this can often lead to depression or acting out.  It is important to use language and allow discussion of these feelings and attitudes. Some will benefit from therapy that can help them work through these issues. Most adolescent recognize their newfound skills and want to experiment alternative paths from those that they have been raised with. Sometimes challenging authority can also bring feelings of guilt and estrangement.

The “adolescent rebel” described above, seen predominately during this stage of development, can be encountered during other period of someone’s life. Many adolescents have skipped this rebel side of themselves during their teenage years. Sometimes this will come up later in life, especially during stressful periods. In other situations, it can become an ongoing personality trait, which can be disruptive in navigating adult responsibilities. It is important to realize that being a “rebel” in certain situations that are intolerable, unfair, or toxic can be adaptive and necessary at any moment of life.

In summary, the “adolescent rebel” concept can help us understand this developmental stage, its implications, and ways of navigating this often-tumultuous period. As adults we can provide understanding and support. Certain situations will require a referral to a therapist or other specialist, especially when life becomes overwhelming. Lastly, this does not mean that someone experiencing these feelings or reactions has a psychiatric disorder. Part of the human experience has always included moments of dissent. Most of us will experience moments in our lives when we need take a stance against situations that we feel are wrong, even when we might be perceived as being a rebellious or difficult person. Certainly, we can find effective ways to rebel against things that are established but require change.

Daniel Gutierrez MD is a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas. He has a keen interest in jazz and mental health awareness.