BACK TO SCHOOL, BACK TO THE FUTURE

During my adolescence, I was sent to a boarding school abroad. I remember being flooded by all sort of emotions, including fear and excitement, during the first few days of school. My parents were reassuring and, perhaps as a way of supporting me, kept most of their worried feelings to themselves. Despite repeating this experience for several years, I continued experiencing a whole range of emotions at the beginning of each school year.

Today, as a child and adolescent psychiatrist, during my visits with patients and their families at the start of each year, I frequently encounter a diverse range of responses from children and teenagers as they begin the new school year. These unique experiences are shared by children, parents, teachers, and school administrators.

It is common for most clinicians to come to expect highlighted concerns during the initial school period, especially in the first month. Frequent concerns from parents include, dropping off their preschooler with “strangers” and possibly dealing with a degree of fear of separation anxiety for the first time. Some parents also experience guilt of putting their “baby” in this situation. For those kids moving on to middle school or high school, this age group worries about fitting in and being accepted by their peers. This can be a time in which kids find a new social skill, engage in sports or other extracurricular activities, or resort to negative peer pressure and experimentation of potential noxious influences. During late adolescence many teenagers face the whole new experience of moving on to college—with its expectations and academic demands, and the angst of becoming more independent especially from parental supervision while making life changing decisions.

Frequently we think “but this is just part of life, everyone goes through this”. I agree.  Yet, let’s take a minute to acknowledge how most of us cope with this situation. We basically have two brains; a more ancestral brain that responds or reacts to new situations by setting off an alarm, that provokes a feeling in our gut, a nagging feeling that something is off, waking up during the night, or experiencing changes in appetite. These reactions are common in uncertain situations and give us a “heads up” that we need to be more vigilant, since we might be navigating an uncertain territory and not know what awaits us around the corner, be it danger or opportunity. We should listen to our more primitive brain; it is a good guide to alert us and then turn on our more mature and developed brain to assist us.

Fortunately, we have a higher-level brain, that is rational, strategic and is good at problem solving. Of course, the younger the child, these capacities are in the process of development and at times immature. It is important to recognize that our adolescent brain is not fully developed until our late twenties. This means that even college students might need support as they develop these skills by trial and error, or hopefully their parents and others have provided sufficient modeling and training, helping them develop these skills early on, which can be incorporated and used as they face new expectations.

Some college students will face not only the new academic demands, but the absence of support and supervision of their parents. Despite the normal excitement of independence and opportunities of decision making, they may be confronted with the weight and responsibility of those decisions that now fall on their shoulders and can be perceived as a burden. Most parents also have mixed feelings about this separation-individuation process and increased autonomy of their children, this can be perceived differently by some cultures. Some see it as an expectant rite of passage while other cultures might resist these changes and instill more worries and guilt on the adolescent who is moving away from the family, carrying this burden to the next phase of their life.

Another factor to consider when addressing these experiences at the start of a new school year is the collective experience with the worldwide pandemic over the last three years, which affected everyone and left a scar or wounds that can be reopened during changes and new experiences. Along with a history or potential for mental health issues (a history of anxiety, depressive or post traumatic disorders), the recent pandemic experience can highlight and create intensive symptoms which need to be addressed by professionals.

Fortunately, most children, adolescents and parents will navigate these transitions well, despite the normal feeling of anxiety and other mixed emotions. I want to emphasize that it is important to take a moment to acknowledge these common and normal experiences, which are part of human behavior during new situations. We can provide support to these children, adolescents, parents and their teachers. It is important for pediatricians, counselors and other specialists to be attuned to these common experiences we face every new school year and support everyone by encouraging and promoting the use of their own skills and experiences. Even though the future is always uncertain, new experiences are opportunities for developing skills for future endeavors.